ate days a week: December 2008

Two stories up

Its gotta be at least 40 degrees outside now, it sure is cold
And its just like you're at work.
9:25am
You tell me not to touch you or talk to you.
Im sorry if its a morning thing.
I want to walk and walk but its hard to see,
And it scares me.
Yet I feel stupid and all my thoughts are just
Too small to matter.
This is devastating
And im sure I don't really know
what that word means either
I wish I knew
And its not like I can pretend
You push me away when I tell you I need you.
When I just want to cuddle and talk
But then that means you want space,
Im sorry.
Yes im sorry, im trying to listen.
And now you're alone.
Im glad that makes things better for you.
Nobody pays attention that you are in a tree.
And when I say you, I mean me.
Its weird
I want to climb higher but the
Branches thin out
And its colder up here,
Much more windy than on the ground
Wind blocked by buildings
And the warmth of the ground.
But as the wind dies
I feel the sun beating down,
Warming me up.
I want to be warmed in your arms.

Stainshane

Sleep?

I should really be sleeping
But my lack of good diet,
means my stomach is in pain.
Twisting and turning it feels like battery acid,
Yes battery acid.
You just slightly awoke and wiped your eyes,
And now you're off again,
Back to sleep.
It feels like its eating itself.
Monster turns, you turn
Away from me.
I filled up your aquafina bottle
In the bathroom
I wish we could talk
And I wish I knew what to say
So that, I don't sound stupid.
And that dosen't mean I'm any less tired.
7:53 a.m.

Stainshane

Mailing away, the deed is done

I already said I don't know anymore,
In my dreams I always see that house,
Cold and dark.
I can already tell you that this won't be good,
Its terrifying
And when im alone I talk to myself, trapped.
Try to find a hole to see the daylight through,
Try to find another way,
How to hold on without letting go..
A way to let go without holding on.
Its those damn circles right?
Deadly such,
And the house with unshattered windows, nobody goes near, but I always
end up closer.
Opening the door with my minds eye to look inside.
Empty 10:02 a.m.
I can use my phone as a light to see my path but really im still relying
on my eyes,
They don't alert me.
Maybe im so numb to everything and now just a select few.
Extra letters and even more extra words.
All for you, just for you, perhaps for me but these things I already
know.
I simply want to share with you so by chance you may see similarities
and help me grasp it.
Its such a struggle for me, I feel everything is.
Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar? Hah
No way bitch!
Im told irony is wasted on the stupid people.
And I suddenly wake up alone,
No scary house, just your house
In your bed I lie awake.
sarcasm

1579, from L.L. sarcasmos, from Gk. sarkasmos "a sneer, jest, taunt,
mockery," from sarkazein "to speak bitterly, sneer," lit. "to strip off
the flesh," from sarx (gen. sarkos ) "flesh," prop. "piece of meat,"
from PIE base *twerk- "to cut" (cf. Avestan thwares "to cut").
Sarcastic is from 1695. For nuances of usage, see
Sarcasm

sar·casm <a
href="http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/ahd4WAV/S0088400/sarcasm"
target="_blank"><img src="http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif"
border="0" /></a> (sär'kāz'əm) Pronunciation Key
n.

A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is
intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
The use of sarcasm. See Synonyms at wit 1 .

Stainshane