Stainshane
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
for you
I am thankful for the way you love me for me. for bad past relationships that ended up leading me to you. for the stars in the sky. for hearing you say 'I love you' every day. for unlimited nights and weekends cell phone minutes. for you holding my hand tight when my insides feel like battery acid. for holidays together. for making dinner side by side. for long drives with you. for laughing together so hard it hurts. for afternoon naps together. for letting me drive--once in a while. for a New Year's Eve kiss. for maryland. for lazy days together. for an entire summer together. for seeing you happy. for The Office and for Dwight Schrute. for fireworks on the rooftop. for grape juice. for long walks hand in hand. for you tucking me in at night. for you listening to me. for long talks in the van. for great sex in the van. for seeing you smile. for the days that you come home to me. for having you to love. for our life together. for-ever.
Missing letters?
I don't know anymore
Lilke I never did
Things seem so weird
And places confuse me.
I don't know what to write because
Words I feel fail me.
And people take whatever they want from it.
Its like twisting things for your own liking.
I feel weak and its unfair that people do these things
Even when my words come out misshapen the auto spelling fixes my
mistakes by ausumption and little scribbled red lines indicate my every
mistake.
I feel foolish
To even think,
Damn. Ots nearing 4 am now
I've increasingly been losing sleep
And staying up later and later.
My mind won't stop until its so fatigued it literally colaplases on
itself..
Its like my brain is fighting sleep and eventually fails like everything
else.
I wish it wasn't so.
I wish I could be normal even though nobody is,
I wish I could let go
But I can't see anyone but her.
She's everywhere.
My eyes leak like they are crying but now
But now I feel too cold and numb to even do that.
I don't know what im doing.
Maybe I had the wrong idea.
I don't want pity or sympathy. I just want help understanding.
Lilke I never did
Things seem so weird
And places confuse me.
I don't know what to write because
Words I feel fail me.
And people take whatever they want from it.
Its like twisting things for your own liking.
I feel weak and its unfair that people do these things
Even when my words come out misshapen the auto spelling fixes my
mistakes by ausumption and little scribbled red lines indicate my every
mistake.
I feel foolish
To even think,
Damn. Ots nearing 4 am now
I've increasingly been losing sleep
And staying up later and later.
My mind won't stop until its so fatigued it literally colaplases on
itself..
Its like my brain is fighting sleep and eventually fails like everything
else.
I wish it wasn't so.
I wish I could be normal even though nobody is,
I wish I could let go
But I can't see anyone but her.
She's everywhere.
My eyes leak like they are crying but now
But now I feel too cold and numb to even do that.
I don't know what im doing.
Maybe I had the wrong idea.
I don't want pity or sympathy. I just want help understanding.
Oiuytghnjkjyhgfdghkjhgfdsfhnhfgdsasfghjkjyhtgrfedfbhnhgrfdewsgkhtgrfedws
There are some of my extra letters
Urhrhjedjdsokebnwbqasvhxjkjjwjnjw
Putting those all together maybe my words would come out right
Yhtgfgjutyr
Tyrft
Tr
E
Ytrfedwsqahjhgtrfd
E
Ee
E
E
Hgrf
Uy5t
Se
E
Ehgt
U
Tyrefbuy5t4ref
Jt
Jytr
Stainshane
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
08/19/08
I can hear the trains till they are far as transit.. Trading paths as
they wander into the night. But I don't know these lands and I don't
know where they lead. Yet the same train may visit you. Near the horses
and the heartland. Toot tooooooot toot tooooooooot.... close enough to
hear the tracks clacking against the wheels. Steel on steel. Near and
far. Into the night.
Stainshane
they wander into the night. But I don't know these lands and I don't
know where they lead. Yet the same train may visit you. Near the horses
and the heartland. Toot tooooooot toot tooooooooot.... close enough to
hear the tracks clacking against the wheels. Steel on steel. Near and
far. Into the night.
Stainshane
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A note for you
Birds and bees
Nine stories up
Where I keep my observations to myself.
At this point my lips are still sore
And my ear (left)
And its mid October
And im further north than I've been before
Yet the bees still hang around.
Its not so much their hanging around
But their search for the sweet that interests me.
Silly I know. Even the birds chatter and squall nine stories up.
And when it seems im out of line
The monster sees it all too.
How long can this little notepad last?
How much more can I write before its too much?
Id would really like to know.
But I do know, knowing isn't everything
I don't know why I make these connections
These observations.
I don't even always know what they mean sometimes.
But I know I love you.
I've seen how strong our love is.
Everything you do for me and
Everything you've taught me.
I wish I could express better.
This rant, this note
I like to tell you things.
I want to draw together
And show you photography
Times and places we go together
Smiles and laughter follow,
Presidential debate tonight.
Loose ends stringing together
Forming a sweater of understanding
Soft and warm like I know it to be in your arms.
Nine stories up
Where I keep my observations to myself.
At this point my lips are still sore
And my ear (left)
And its mid October
And im further north than I've been before
Yet the bees still hang around.
Its not so much their hanging around
But their search for the sweet that interests me.
Silly I know. Even the birds chatter and squall nine stories up.
And when it seems im out of line
The monster sees it all too.
How long can this little notepad last?
How much more can I write before its too much?
Id would really like to know.
But I do know, knowing isn't everything
I don't know why I make these connections
These observations.
I don't even always know what they mean sometimes.
But I know I love you.
I've seen how strong our love is.
Everything you do for me and
Everything you've taught me.
I wish I could express better.
This rant, this note
I like to tell you things.
I want to draw together
And show you photography
Times and places we go together
Smiles and laughter follow,
Presidential debate tonight.
Loose ends stringing together
Forming a sweater of understanding
Soft and warm like I know it to be in your arms.
Stainshane
Monday, October 20, 2008
when I could not sleep before the end
As I lay here in late October
I have the privlage to be left of my dearest love.
And as im unsure of what the future holds
I see us held together
Wherever it takes us.
My eyes blurr as I try to read what I am writing.
But I can SMELL the sweetest scent
Even her breath is pleasant and drives me toward kisses.
An aroma such I can't explain to my senses overload and flow from me reaching into her mind.
The smell. Her smell IS your smells.
Smell, well
Amazing.
Softest touch I've all said before.
And I lay here awake for many reasons.
I have worries and fears but I try to overcome them and learn from past mistakes.
Still I wonder about tomorrow.
And when will be the next embrace?
So warm and seamlessly forever together
Hand in hand.
I can't even describe the wonderful feeling that comes from these smells
Th touch
Your soft lips and gentle touch gracing my body that is not as pretty as yours.
And stlll such beauty you share with me
Things I never imagined someone would intrust in me,
Our hot hot passion I love to feel you pressed against me.
Silly it sounds but,
No matter what you feel, know
my heart is truly yours.
Words blend together as I constantly see my vision failing me. Weird experience it is but its been like this for me since I can remember.
So I let my eyes go. I don't want these horrible blue things.
You are wearing that cute blue shirt
Just speaking of blue.
I don't have a point.
But
I feel the need to stress this and I feel the need to tell you these things.
I love you caress your breasts
Probablly the softest
No
They are the softest
I just melt into a pathetic little puddle on the fround in front of you as I slide through your fingers
The moisture & the beads of water dripping from your chest is me melted.
I just look at you and I feel these great things.
I worry I stress you and I don't want to.
You know I want to help and relieve stress and I want to cuddle.
The more you sleep the more I lay here and write.
The later it gets.
And the later it is.
And now it is
Now
Goodnight.
I have the privlage to be left of my dearest love.
And as im unsure of what the future holds
I see us held together
Wherever it takes us.
My eyes blurr as I try to read what I am writing.
But I can SMELL the sweetest scent
Even her breath is pleasant and drives me toward kisses.
An aroma such I can't explain to my senses overload and flow from me reaching into her mind.
The smell. Her smell IS your smells.
Smell, well
Amazing.
Softest touch I've all said before.
And I lay here awake for many reasons.
I have worries and fears but I try to overcome them and learn from past mistakes.
Still I wonder about tomorrow.
And when will be the next embrace?
So warm and seamlessly forever together
Hand in hand.
I can't even describe the wonderful feeling that comes from these smells
Th touch
Your soft lips and gentle touch gracing my body that is not as pretty as yours.
And stlll such beauty you share with me
Things I never imagined someone would intrust in me,
Our hot hot passion I love to feel you pressed against me.
Silly it sounds but,
No matter what you feel, know
my heart is truly yours.
Words blend together as I constantly see my vision failing me. Weird experience it is but its been like this for me since I can remember.
So I let my eyes go. I don't want these horrible blue things.
You are wearing that cute blue shirt
Just speaking of blue.
I don't have a point.
But
I feel the need to stress this and I feel the need to tell you these things.
I love you caress your breasts
Probablly the softest
No
They are the softest
I just melt into a pathetic little puddle on the fround in front of you as I slide through your fingers
The moisture & the beads of water dripping from your chest is me melted.
I just look at you and I feel these great things.
I worry I stress you and I don't want to.
You know I want to help and relieve stress and I want to cuddle.
The more you sleep the more I lay here and write.
The later it gets.
And the later it is.
And now it is
Now
Goodnight.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
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