Missing letters?

I don't know anymore
Lilke I never did
Things seem so weird
And places confuse me.
I don't know what to write because
Words I feel fail me.
And people take whatever they want from it.
Its like twisting things for your own liking.
I feel weak and its unfair that people do these things
Even when my words come out misshapen the auto spelling fixes my
mistakes by ausumption and little scribbled red lines indicate my every
mistake.
I feel foolish
To even think,
Damn. Ots nearing 4 am now
I've increasingly been losing sleep
And staying up later and later.
My mind won't stop until its so fatigued it literally colaplases on
itself..
Its like my brain is fighting sleep and eventually fails like everything
else.
I wish it wasn't so.
I wish I could be normal even though nobody is,
I wish I could let go
But I can't see anyone but her.
She's everywhere.
My eyes leak like they are crying but now
But now I feel too cold and numb to even do that.
I don't know what im doing.
Maybe I had the wrong idea.
I don't want pity or sympathy. I just want help understanding.

Oiuytghnjkjyhgfdghkjhgfdsfhnhfgdsasfghjkjyhtgrfedfbhnhgrfdewsgkhtgrfedws
There are some of my extra letters
Urhrhjedjdsokebnwbqasvhxjkjjwjnjw
Putting those all together maybe my words would come out right

Yhtgfgjutyr
Tyrft
Tr
E
Ytrfedwsqahjhgtrfd
E
Ee
E
E
Hgrf
Uy5t
Se
E

Ehgt

U
Tyrefbuy5t4ref
Jt
Jytr

Stainshane